I warned you, my mind tends to wander

This has gotten out of hand. I knew it would, I've never done anything halfway. Ok, sure I'll occasionaly start something and quit, but that's different. I usualy quit to avoid doing it halfway. I'll explain more in a minute. First off, did you hear about Patrick Beckert, the German speed skater? He missed his chance at the Oylmpics this year because his cell phone was turned off.

Yep, aparently he was the fourth alternate in 1,000m. Two time gold winner Enrico Fabris, from Italy, withdrew an hour before the race and Olympic officials couldn't reach the first three on the list. The Germans heard about it and started searching for Beckert. They called him and they called his sister, a contender in the 3,000m race trying to find him, but still no Beckert. 17 minutes before the race Beckert finaly called back but couldn't get to the track in time. As it turns out, Beckert's cell phone was turned off.

So, how does this relate to my own situation? I managed to lose my own cell phone Wednesday night in what could probablybe turned into a highly stupid low budget version of "Dude, Where's My Car." Happily my cell phone insurance came through and I recieved my new phone today, Friday. I'm actualy kind of happy because I've spent the entire day playing with it and coming up with ring tones.

Ring tones, as it turns out, are a great way to spend an entire night. After all, I can't have just any ring tone, it has to be just the right one. Something slightly subversive and just the right amount of annoying to the people around me without being obscene. I started by looking through my "Cracker" albums and thought I had settled on "Don't Fuck Me Up With Peace And Love" but figured that wouldn't be the best thing to start ringing in church or while I'm on the air. After that I thought, how about Teen Angst, but then I got creative. Some quick checking on Groove Shark and I hit gold. I have managed to put the most politicaly conservative songs I could find on my phone. That of course lead me creating a CD of these songs, and I now think I may have the greatest mixtape ever created. I'm not talking some cliche cd full of mindless Toby Keith drivel, I'm talking real recording gold.

My new ringtones? Well to kick it off, I've got everybody's favorite conservative the motor city madman Ted Nugent with Damn Yankees recording "Don't Tread On Me." After that, "Government Cheese" by The Rainmakers, then of course I went with "Capitalism" by Oingo Boingo. Next I dug up "20th Century Man" by the Kinks. I think I've got it pretty well covered.